This is now longer new and exciting. This is no longer the new normal. This is now abnormal and I would like it to end. I think that pretty much sums up the feelings of the past few weeks, but let’s dig deeper into why I feel this.
No running… no forest, so gardening!
I have been not been able to run for four weeks now and I have been indoors now for 8 weeks I think? I have lost count. It’s not easy when you are used to being outdoors and especially the forest has been my lifeline. Now I have not been able to even think about climbing a small hill let alone hike. I try to tell myself that if I just stay still, it will get better eventually and I can run again, but it’s hard. Harder than I thought.
So past two weeks has been absolute stand still exercise wise. I tried the other weekend a little bit of cross training, but no, it hurt, so decided to concentrate on gardening and music instead.
Work and home balance is complicated
Work seems to pile up as it is harder to concentrate with so many distractions at home, meetings, phone calls, skype calls, even video calls in the evenings for hobbies. Life is just pure online gala and I so miss my forest and total silence.
Also when work is so “close” and no exercise scheduled it’s harder to keep the separation between home and the work time. You need to cook food in the middle of the day ,or go to the shop in between meetings and respond/read the ever-continuing flow of emails and messages from work, school and pre-school/Kindergarten.
Your whole entire life is just a big jumble of scheduling the day between these different medias, apps and online “things”.
My lifeline = gardening and music
That is why I have had to figure out a bit different lifelines without running, gym or forest or even choir practise. One of them is gardening. We have been lucky with the weather so me and my youngest daughter have been digging the yard upside down since I have too much energy. It will look absolutely beautiful!
The other lifeline has been singing and playing the piano. I am grateful that I have been able to take part into so many wonderful and interesting productions, yes online! So singing into microphone or your phone with a backing track. See one of them “Finlandia-hymn” which is one of the most important national songs for Finland published on Monday 27th of April for the Veteran’s day in Finland on the Youtube channel of the Finnish government. I have also done a lot of practising on piano. Bought new sheet music and all these things have allowed me to have a bit of break from the work and chore routines.
But still I really miss running by now and especially the forest!
New interesting thoughts
I have though noticed myself thinking a bit differently about this situation than before. I used to think “it’s fine, it won’t last, one day at a time” and so on. A bit of pep talk to myself, but now I notice I have started thinking a bit more “negatively” I would say. The thoughts are more like “If we ever get to go there again”, “It would be so nice to still one time do this” and so on. You start remembering and reminiscing all these great places you have visited and nice relaxing routines and habits you had which you can no longer have.
The excitement of the “new and interesting” situation has disappeared and you just want it to be over with. The truth though is that this will never be “over with”. Covid-19 is here to stay and who knows how long it takes before we find a vaccine and by that time we have all probably had it anyway.
This all makes me think that I will probably need to get used to the idea that eventually no matter how I try to avoid it, I will get it and just need to hope for the best. The reason why I fear getting it a bit is that I have scarred lungs, so it might potentially be pretty bad for me, but then again I might fall ill from it without even knowing and I am generally well and have no other underlying risk factors.
Who knows how long any of us can really avoid it?
Self isolation continues
What ever the scenario, self isolation will continue for our family. We will keep following the government regulations and when we do get the lottery ticket of corona virus possibly later on we’ll deal with it then. Until that happens, I will keep avoiding it if I can, but I am more in terms with the fact that probably none of us can avoid it… In these thoughts… Take care, be safe, keep calm and avoid people ❤
* My headline “day” count begins from the day WHO started making official situation reports on the 21st of January.